I WILL WRITE ABOUT THE HANDMADE SLIDES IN CHAPTERS ,.......SENT BY SEVERAL E-MAILS.................TO START.,..............'' I FEEL THAT THE PROCESS OF THOUGHT IN ART MAKING AND THE MANY REMNANTS THAT COULD BE DISCARDED.....................ARE SOMETIMES, THE MOST IMPORTANT ...................THE ELEMENT OF PROCESS AND THE MANY FRAGMENTS .........THAT MIGHT OTHERWISE BE SWEPT UP FROM THE FLOOR AND THROWN AWAY ...............OR, ONES OWN BLINDNESS...............THROUGH PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS .................THAT WORK MIGHT STAY STAGNANT ........................THE CONCEPT IS THE SPERM..............BUT THE PROCESS,.............CREATES THE DEVELOPMENT...............AND THE BIRTH OF THE WORK.........................I REALIZED THIS SEVERAL DECADES AGO, WHILE WORKING IN MY STUDIO AT MASS ART IN BOSTON, DURING WINTER ...HOLIDAY BREAK..........THE SCHOOL WAS EMPTY ...EVERYONE LEFT FOR THE HOLIDAY ......BUT I STAYED BEHIND AT THE STUDIO IN THE PLASTER ROOM................THE CONCEPT AND GOAL WAS TO MAKE ONE HUNDRED DEAD BABIES............THE SPACE HAD BECOME FULL OF BABY DOLL FACE MOLDS ..............., BOWLS OF MIXED PLASTER...............MANY STAGES IN PROCESS OF FORMS IN CHICKEN WIRE.............WITH HEADS ATTACHED ................OR NOT..................A SKIN OF PLASTER.......ALL SO WHITE...................AND WORKED .......................THE MANY STAGES OF PROCESS......................ALL THERE..................ON ONE DAY ,......I WALKED IN TO BEGIN WORK AND REALIZED THE ROOM ITSELF IN PROCESS WAS THE PIECE..............................IT WAS THE INSTALLATION.....................AND EVERYTHING I CRAVED.................IT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND REAL ....................SO I DECIDED TO SHOW IT THAT WAY................AND IT WAS PERFECT.................HONEST AND REAL.................BUT AFTER THAT, I DID FILL MY ORIGINAL CONCEPT.................I COVERED THEM WITH FIBER GLASS AND RESIN............, DIRT AND ASH................AND NOW THEY ARE FOREVER SO VERY VERY STATIC ................I LOVE THEM BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMIND ME OF THEIR PROCESS AND BIRTH...............AND HOW AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL THAT STUDIO WAS........................BUT I WAS YOUNG.....................

PART TWO..................I THINK WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR, WAS FOREVER..................SO I CHOSE MATERIALS THAT MIGHT LAST...............METAL..........AND THEN PLASTIC,............WHICH WILL LAST A VERY LONG TIME.....................MY WORK WAS VERY APOCALYPTIC.................AND AFTER 30 YEARS ,...............THEY AGE VERY WELL...............AND WILL BE AROUND LONG AFTER WE DIE................PERHAPS THEY TOO MIGHT TELL A STORY OF US...............BUT NOW THE FRAGMENTS OF MY THOUGHTS TURN TO THE FRAGILITY ......................AND PATH WE WALK ...................STILL IN A WORLD , WHERE WE CALL OUR ONLY HOME...................AS BEAUTIFUL AND UGLY AS IT CAN BE............IT'S OURS...............SO, IN RETROSPECT................I'M GLAD I LEFT THIS WORK THAT WILL LAST A LONG TIME .............FIGURES OF APOCALYPSE...JUST TO REMIND...............WE MIGHT BE DUST BUT WE WERE REAL.....................

PART THREE,........IS THERE A MISTAKE WHILE MAKING ART ..........MANY AND I WANT THEM ALL...............I WANT ALL MY MISTAKES ..............AND I WANT TO LEARN FROM THEM AND MAKE THEM INTO BIGGER MISTAKES................UNTIL THE MISTAKE BECOMES THE GIVEN WORTH...........THAT IS WHEN PROCESS HAS MADE ITS WAY...................I FIND MYSELF A COLLABORATOR........THE PROCESS AND I...................THESE DAYS I LISTEN................AND WE WORK TOGETHER................... FOR THE THOUGHTS I MIGHT HAVE.............BUT I ALWAYS MUST LISTEN AND SEE..................THE MATERIAL BECOMES A PATH AND IN SOME WAYS ,..THAT MIGHT LAST FOREVER TOO...........
PART THREE.............I BEGAN MAKING HANDMADE SLIDES.............BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE ALL THESE LEFTOVER TINY SCRAPS OF FILM.........FROM EDITING............LEFT ON MY FLOOR............BUT, INSTEAD OF SWEEPING THEM UP WITH A BROOM............., I KEPT THEM IN TINY PLASTIC BAGS..............AND SAVED EVERYTHING...............WHEN I COMPLETED A FILM, I WOULD ALSO MAKE SEVERAL SLIDES, AS A VARIATION.......I KEPT THESE AS,...WHAT I CALL ''DO DADS''..............JUST FOR ME ....................A SKETCH.............................................I WOULD THINK ABOUT INSECTS...........HAIR,...............FILTH...............MY FLESH ...............MY SKIN............MY HISTORY AND DEATH ......................THE FRAGMENTS OF LOST FILM MIGHT BECOME THE ELEMENT OF TRUTH..............I NEED TO PROCEED .................THE STILL STATIC IMAGE, QUESTIONS FILM .............SOMETHING I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT................AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND...................WHAT IS FILM..................?..............AND WHAT IS FILM..............CAN IT BE ICE..............ALL WE NEED IS LIGHT..............AND SOME SORT OF MOVEMENT..................A CAST OF LIGHT IN TIME.................

CHAPTER #4........the fragments of my past will always continue .................i will always try to find the truth ................in my work................and as a collaborator in the process..............my work is nothing without that.......................i find myself in a new place ...............i've been making handmade static film slides for a while and love that they have been accepted ................as perhaps cousins of intermittent film...........film with movement.............through projection..................light and sound .............yet,..the static film image............is still a projection.........of light.................but not not in the same frame of ...............time.................the image of light ...........now so very primitive..........and it's particular movement through time..............may light it's way..............the past is only just before us.....................
chapter#5...........THE WORK I MAKE IS FROM WHAT I SEE.........AND THE REST IS FROM MY GUT................MOSTLY, I'M SAD............JUST LIKE THIRTY YEARS AGO................I WANT THINGS TO BE BETTER................THAT HAS NEVER CHANGED............BUT I HAVE............FOR BETTER OR WORSE...............MY LIFE HAs taken it's toll..........no longer young...................i'm challenged with the thoughts ..........every day..............how to see and witness this world and still survive at the same time...........we can only hope .............history will continue to tell our story......................

...............''UTOPIA'' IS ABOUT THE STRUGGLE IN COMFORT...........AND PERHAPS .............REDEMPTION.................FEAR AND REGRET...............WE USE THE MATERIALS AT HAND TO TELL THIS STORY...................THE WORLD WILL ALWAYS GONE ON WITH PAIN..............I VERY SAD FOR THAT BUT IT'S TRUE..................

''UTOPIA''...........2012-2013. HANDMADE SLIDES............IN THIS CASE, .....I HAVE USED.....35 MM TRAILERS FROM MOVIE THEATERS ..............THEY ARE TO PROMOTE FILMS AT THE CINEMA..............BUT AFTER THAT, THEY GIVE THEM AWAY.......................I WENT THROUGH REELS AND REELS,...IN ORDER TO FIND HUMAN FACIAL EXPRESSION.........DISCONTENT................AND SOME SORT OF SHOCK.................AND HUMAN CONNECTION.....................AND FEAR...............THE MATERIAL, BEING FILM................AND THE MANY FRAMES TO PROVIDE, GAVE ME A PALLET FOR REPETITION..... AND I COULD PLAY WITH THE MULTIPLE IMAGE IN ONE SINGLE STATIC FRAME................AS WELL, THE BLACK NEGATIVE SPACE..................THIS BECAME A FORMAT FOR COMPOSITION............AND HOW A SINGLE FRAME MIGHT TELL A STORY WITH SOME KIND OF ENERGY..............THE GLUE AND TAPE, BECOME PART OF THE STORY, TOO.....................THE TEXTURE LEADS TO THE EVENT .............. DISSOLVED............... THE MATERIAL BECOMES THE LANGUAGE..................................QUITE UNRESOLVED.....................WE HAVE MOMENTS ............OF DESPAIR .........AND DELIGHT...................FORGIVENESS AND PAIN.....................OR SOMETHING THAT STARES US IN THE FACE EVERY DAY...................................WE ARE HUMAN.............

THIS SHOULD BE MY LAST CHAPTER................''A CONSUMPTION IN TIME''................2012..................... THE STILL SLIDE FORMAT HAS BECOME A GREAT WAY FOR ME TO SPEAK ..........I'M KNOWN AS A FILMMAKER BUT I'M NOT...................I FEEL THAT I AM A SCULPTOR.................I CHOSE THIS DOUBLE PROJECTION......IN RESPONSE TO THE FILMS..............AND THEIR VISERAL CONTENT.........I DO WANT TO FIND BEAUTY SOME WHERE ........SOME PLACE.............I KEEP LOOKING .............WILL THAT MAKE ME HAPPY ,...............I DON'T KNOW ................IT'S AS IF I JUST WANT TO SAY ONE LAST THING....................PERHAPS IT'S A WARNING.............PERHAPS NOT.............BUT I FEEL SOMETHING VERY SAD...............THIS DOUBLE PROJECTION..........IS SOMETHING OF FORGIVENESS......................HANDMADE COMPOSITIONS FROM FRAGMENTS ..........THAT WILL TURN TO LIGHT........................WE ALL HAVE PAIN...............AND MOSTLY REGRET..................I'M A LOST SOUL................SO I WILL KEEP SEARCHING..................BEST , LUTHER (via e-mail)